Feeling Needy

Before I had Zac I had numerous conversations with people who would tell me how much help I was going to need after having him. I guess having three children under the age of 2 with a C-section on top of that seemed like a bit much. This I understood but at the same time I have a hard time asking for help unless its from Kevin or my mom. I just figure if I want something done, I will do it myself. With a C-section recovery you really have to allow yourself to heal and this just takes time. It is especially hard for me to not be able to take care of Ty and Gracie and not lift them. They're still my babies.

Well, my first couple weeks I really tried to recover, catch up on sleep and let things be. Even if it was torture for me on the inside to be so limited. So I thought I was accepting my "help" well and strengthing that weakness of mine. I guess I have some more to learn.

Last Tuesday Kev took Zac to Urgent Care because we thought his normally loud, squeaky breathing sounded worse and he was contracting into his lungs. I was at home with the twinners. An hour later Kev called and said they wanted to transport him to the Childrens Hospital immediately. He told me to get someone to watch the twins and meet him there. Seriously! After losing it on the phone, I tried to pull myself together for Ty and Gracie. It didn't work since Ty saw me cry and he started crying and grabbed my hand and didn't want to leave my side. My awesome friend Courtney came and got the twins and I was off to the hospital.

By the time I got there, they had just left the ER and taken Zac up to the ICU. They escorted me to his room and there was my poor little baby hooked up to monitors, being poked and prodded, IV in his arm. Now I really lost it.

For the next 36 hours, they had to draw blood, monitor him, put on a breathing mask, give him antibiotics, and the worst part was he couldn't eat. They were trying to rule out anything viral before they did anything evasive. Which meant waiting for test results to come back. Waiting in the ICU is a very slow wait, especially while listening to your son cry, knowing he wants fed, and being able to do nothing about it. Yep, I was in my own personal hell.

The first night was the worst, they had to redo his IV and it
took an hour and half for them to get another one to work. I really have never felt so helpless. The twins were also sick at home with colds and coughs. I didn't see them for 48 hours. And then we got hit with a huge snow storm, causing problems for Kevin's mom who was flying in to watch the twins.

I didn't make phone calls because everytime I talked on the phone in those first two days I just fell apart. Therefore, I sent out texts. And I really appreciate those who sent their love, support and help through text. It meant alot knowing people wanted to help.

There is tons I could write on our stay in the ICU but I'll continue to add more later. Once we got the viral test results back which were negative, they planned to do a bronch test. So on Thursday they sedated Zac so he was out and put a tiny tube down his throat with a camera to take pictures. And that gave us the answer we needed. He has a condition called Laryngomalasia where his epiglottis is floppy, causing his airway to be small, hence why it sounds like he is gasping for air.
In most cases infants grow out of this within the first year, in some cases they opt to do a laser procedure to harden up the tissue and allow for more air. Of course the ENT is out of town and we wont meet with him for a couple weeks. It will be up to the ENT on what he suggests we do for Zac.

Therefore, we were discharged on Friday and got to go home. Yay! So my little Zac sounds the same, very noisy, wheezy, and squeaky but it could have been much worse. The ICU is not a happy place and I feel very blessed to have left with my Zac in our arms.

So I have felt very needy this month of February but am so grateful for friends and family who have been so willing to help me and my family. Thank you!

I decided not to take pictures of him hooked up to everything. But here he is on Friday before we left with Daddy in the rocking chair we were able to use.

And then we became a party of Five!

We had a scheduled C-section for February 10th. I was hoping to maybe get the chance to do a v-bac but that was only if I went into labor before the 10th. As of my last Drs. appt I wasn't dialated at all and it didn't look like I would go into labor. I was settling into the 10th being our day. However, as always life doesn't always happen as planned. Last Friday I started leaking amniotic fluid and wasn't sure at the time if that is really what it was. Therefore we took our time going into the hospital to get checked. One, my doctor was still out of town and two I just wasn't quite ready in case it really meant having the baby. We waited until Saturday morning and I was still leaking so we decided to go in. We dropped the twins off at our friends and were on our way. They checked me and sure enough I had a rupture in my water. Our little guy was coming out! I wasn't in labor so I had to have a C-section. They prepped me and got me back to the OR and very shortly our baby was born.
This is my 38 week picture.


Introducing our newest little bundle of joy:

Zac Christopher Jenkins

Born: February 5th at 1:28 pm via C-section

Weighed 5 lbs. 14 oz.

Length: 19 inches



I couldn't believe how small he was! I was expecting him to be closer to 7 pounds. Ty was much bigger than him and he was a twin and three weeks early!


He looked great though, had great color and sounded good. We were so happy to have a healthy little boy!


Proud Papa!


We had to get his temperature up before he could take a bath. So he took his bath at 1 in the morning. He kept sliding down on the nurse.


Auntie came to visit right after he was born. We're so glad she came and saw Zac and helped me at the hospital.


Our first night home from the hospital he did so well! I hope he continues to be such an easygoing baby.


He is quite the alert little guy.


Oh we just love him so much!


Welcome to our family Zac! Thanks for making us a party of five!